Americans do love a good boycott. Boycotts make ordinary people feel like they have a voice, if only we all participate, and I admit that I’m an activist on lots of issues and have joined in a few boycotts over the years.

If you think you hear a “but” coming, you’re right.

There’s been a rash of patriotic vodka dumping around the United States since Russian forces invaded Ukraine, BUT (there it is) when you see news reports of bar owners like this one and this one and that guy in the screen grab below ceremoniously dumping bottles of Stolichnaya vodka into the street outside their establishments, feel free to laugh. I guarantee Vladimir Putin’s laughing at them, if he’s seeing this coverage. 

It’s true that there is a Russian-made vodka labeled Stolichnaya, but the Stolichnaya (Stoli) vodka you’ve been enjoying here in the United States hasn’t been produced in Russia in more than 20 years.

On the up side, American storm sewers haven’t had this much fun since Prohibition.

The TV news reporter in that first clip notes that the bar owner is making a statement. He sure is, and the statement is, “I have no damn idea where the booze I sell is made.”

Stoli’s produced in several countries that were unchained from Russia when the Soviet Union fell apart in 1990-91. Outside of Russia, the Stoli(chnaya) brand and assets belong to the SPI Group, a global, private company domiciled in Luxembourg and involved in production and/or sale of more than 380 beverage brands worldwide. SPI Group is owned by Yuri Shefler, a billionaire born in Russia but who was exiled in 2002. Even back then, that’s what happened when you fell out of Vladimir Putin’s favor due to legal battles with a “Russian state corporation” (read that, “oligarchs with license to steal”) over ownership of Stolichnaya and other trademarks that have roots in the Soviet era. If you Google-search Stoli’s history, you’ll see a lot about ongoing legal fights over the brand, but one thing is eminently, objectively clear: Stoli vodka sold and consumed outside of Russia … is no longer made in Russia and hasn’t been for a long time. Today, Shefler officially resides in Switzerland and runs SPI Group mostly from the United Kingdom (UK).

And if you visit the Stoli website, you’ll find a statement of just how emphatically the company resents the Russian attack on Ukraine. [Update December 2024: That statement is long gone, but vodka sold as ‘Stoli’ still has nothing to do with Russia.]

Similarly, Smirnoff vodka has Russian roots, but it hasn’t been made in Russia since the October Revolution of 1917, when the Smirnov family was forced to flee Russia. They settled in Ukraine and started making vodka there, later adding a distillery in Paris. The Smirnovs sold the production rights, brand, and formula to their vodka in the 1930s to a Russian-born American, Rudolph Kunett, and Smirnoff (the French spelling) became the first and only American-made brand of vodka until well after World War II. Today Smirnoff is part of Diageo, another global wine and spirits conglomerate, which is based in the UK. It’s produced in 12 locations around the world, none of which are in Russia, and all of the Smirnoff sold in the United States is made right here.

In fact, as of 2021, genuine Russian vodka was barely a sliver of U.S. vodka imports every year—just 1.3-1.5 percent on dollar volume, depending which industry source you check—and an even tinier fraction of the vodka we drink.

“According to Impact Databank, the import value of Russian vodka shipped to the U.S. last year totaled $21.4 million, comprising a 1.5% share of the total $1.42 billion in imported vodka shipped to the U.S., and less than a 0.5% share of the overall vodka category in the United States. Russian Standard, led by billionaire Roustam Tariko, is the largest premium Russian vodka brand both in the U.S. and globally. Russian Standard’s U.S. volume has hovered around 200,000 cases in recent years, while the brand’s global sales are approximately 3.7 million cases.“

Shanken News Daily on February 28, 2022

I’m pretty sure Mr. Putin’s bag carriers keep more than $21.4 million in their petty cash pouches just to feed the parking meters for their yachts.

So boycott away, if you’re inclined, but first be certain that the vodka you’re dumping or refusing to buy actually came from Russia, and prepare to be disappointed when not one Russian notices.

As a public service to vodka dumpers everywhere, here is a list of actual Russian-made vodkas sold in the United States, at least until last week. I’m sure there are others if you can find them:

• Beluga
• Hammer & Sickle
• Imperia
• Mamont
• Organica
• Russian Standard
• Zyr

If dumping vodka is pointless, what’s a Ukraine sympathizer to do?

Here’s an even better idea, particularly for bar, restaurant or liquor store owners who COMPLETELY UNSELFISHLY (eye-roll here) want to make some PR hay out of the misfortune befalling our friends and relatives in Ukraine: Go ahead and serve or sell what you have in stock, but announce to your customers and anyone else interested that you’ll donate the proceeds of those sales to Ukraine relief. If you have Russian vodka in stock, Russia already has the money. I mean, you do pay your bills, don’t you? So whom are you really hurting by dumping that brand of vodka almost no American has heard of?

I close with a confession: I have an unopened bottle of Hammer & Sickle vodka in my possession, bought mid-2021. It has been my favorite vodka for several years, based on its quality and flavor.

I’m not going to dump it; again, Russia already has the money. Come to think of it, now I may not even drink it. My heirs could use a valuable collector’s item amid the heap of flotsam I’ll leave them, and a boy can dream.